Wear A Tie Or Tie Your Obi II


Hi there! My name is Grand Ultimate Master 15th Degree Black Belt Joe Awesome! I just finished my new book, I’m A Rich Karate Legend And I Can Make You a Success Over Night. It’s available right now from my website for a low low price of $99.99. But you can get it a whopping 0.5% discount if you order it NOW!!! You can also sign up for my awesome newsletter, Joe’s AWESOME. It comes complete with a virus that will pick out everyone in your contacts and send itself out to them too!!!!

Also, come down to our awesome training facility right now and sign up for our classes. You will be ignored when you come in the door (we’re wayyyy too busy milking the four year old kids’ moms out of their money). But don’t worry, we WILL get to you. I can promise one of our awesome instructors is eyeballing you like a buzzard looking at road kill. Once you get our attention you will IMMEDIATELY be presented with……A CONTRACT that lawfully binds you to paying us $200.00 a month for a year and a half. You break that contract and our attorney, who is also a 19th degree black belt WILL take you to court and SUE you for at least twice the amount you lawfully agreed to pay us!!!

Now while you’re being rushed to read over that contract why not just go ahead and pay us the $50.00 fee that we charge to “evaluate” your child to see if they are worthy of taking classes from Joe Awesome’s AWESOME MARTIAL ARTS SUPER CENTER. (by the way..we KEEP that 50 even if we make your child feel bad and tell him that he’s not good enough)

And once you get that contract signed and you are officially part of our awesome program here’s something REALLY awesome: your child WILL test in three months! That’s right! Whether he’s ready or not, Little Johnny will test in three months! The testing fee is $100.00 (I know, cheap right!) and it’s non-refundable whether he passes or not.

And don’t forget our awesome Karate Kamp where we will charge you another $100.00, babysit your child for a day, give her about 45 minutes worth of karate lessons, then goof arounf the rest of the day. And at the AWESOME Kamp we’ll give them a certificate AND a rank belt…even if they earned no rank at all!!! Yes Sir!!! All of that just to get you in the door, take your money, and hopefully get you to come back…and pay us LOTS MORE MONEY

Oh, and here’s a bit of info for you to keep in mind: Next month I’m going to China to my Sensei’s dojang to test for my 20th degree black belt! Of course we’re going to need you to help pay for the trip! FYI, I’ll be taking my wife, four children, and two girlfriends and it’s up to you to help with the check because WE’RE AWESOME!!!!

Joe Awesome’s AWESOME MARTIAL ARTS SUPER CENTER where we CARE….about your money!!!

Ok. I exaggerated . I went a little overboard. Or did I?

It is a one of my deepest beliefs that a traditional dojo is not a business. It is a place to learn and grow, to educate yourself about…yourself. It is a place where you can go at the end of a stressful day and find peace by focusing on improving yourself. It seems that people want to spend extravagant amounts of money to go somewhere and be treated like a customer paying for a service instead of being a part of something that makes them feel like a part of a family and knowing that their tuition goes to preserving something that is special instead of making a living for someone else.

We all have to make a living. Some do it by teaching martial arts. I’m not one of those people. I teach because karate is part of my life and a very positive aspect of my life. I teach because of pride in my system and out of respect for my style. Passing those things on to others is my main goal and purpose. Of course I have bills to pay at the dojo and that’s what the money goes for. There have been times where I have actually made enough money to have some left over for a tank of gas or to take my family to dinner but those occasions were few and far between and there have been many more occasions where I took money out of my own pocket to pay a bill or order equipment or even top off the rent. When you look at it that way, you put more care into what and how you teach.

I had the opportunity last year to go out to California and test for my Sandan. Quite simply, I couldn’t afford to make the trip. Several people suggested that the dojo have a series of fund raisers to fund the trip. I flatly refused. I had no desire for my students to work or pay money for a trip that would benefit me. One of them told me that in this case, if it benefitted me, it would benefit all of the students as well. I still didn’t want it. Instead I came up with an alternative idea. We joined together like a family. We worked very hard: car washes, bake sales, yard sales. We made a great deal of money. We paid for two high ranking Shihan in our organization to come out here, to train us all, to test those of us who wished. We invited other schools of like disciplines to attend the weekend long training. It was a huge success and everyone received immediate benefits from it.

That’s not the way to run a business!

That’s not how a business operates!

No. That’s how to run a DOJO.

That’s how a FAMILY operates.

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  1. November 3, 2011 at 10:53 am

    There is so much truth in your words, when I had my studio, it was more a hobby, or a way to do martial arts the way I was taught, traditionally and not like the federation in the nexr town that charged for every thing under the sun. I charged 35.00$ a month and many times the parents couldn’t pay that, so I would tell them bring their child any way we will work it out. It was a community working toward a better township not a buisness, I rarely, if ever made a profit, but I paid the rent, the lights and got new equipment as we needed and paid for some trips to Shreveport for tournaments. This post reminded me of so much, thanyou (~_~)

  2. November 6, 2011 at 9:04 am

    I commend you for caring and demonstrating the true spirit of the martial arts, Zendictive. The world could use more teachers with your ideals and compassion.

  3. B Drew
    November 29, 2011 at 3:19 am

    I had a great time attending the Gasshuku last Nov. While this could have easily became a marketing tool for some income it instead was a great turnout of students getting to work together. I know that our local Tang Soo Do instructor and myself had a lot of fun being students again.

    I wish I had sponsored one myself instead of flying to Japan for my 22nd degree black belt.

  4. February 1, 2012 at 5:38 pm

    You didn’t go over board AT ALL… that mo’fo at Tiger Schulmans’ Mr whatever black belt? For all his little ‘knowledge’ … when I was done with him for pulling that garbage on me and trying to manipulate me? He got a whooping and I didn’t have to touch him. His little arrogant look disappeared, that 6’4″ s.o.b., who was doing the taking was about 1 foot high. They were despicable examples of what it’s supposed to be about.

    Mind you 🙂 I don’t know ALL there is to know, but I know enough to know that they commercialized it an manipulated people into bringing their kids there…the big horses a$$es that they were.

    Oh and hell no, you didn’t exaggerate at all. 🙂

    yaaaaaaaaaaah (as to having them come to you and all that good stuff…. I like the way you think. 🙂

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